dikembe. this dude knew something about blocking shots
the great thing about having a blog, is being able to say pretty much what i want, when and how i want.
i’m the 1st to admit that i can be defensive at times. but it’s rarely completely unjustified.
the other day on a blog, a comment was made by a reader.
I feel real sorrow when I read some of these open wound bruised, battered & sore bitter black woman rants.
Do they know? Do they care? Do they think this is a good thing? Are they okay with giving control of their behavior to somebody that truly couldn’t care less how they live?
I mean, I have so many questions. Hotline numbers. Geez…Acceptance, forgiveness & positivity will get you through most anything. It ain’t what happens to you that matters. It is how you handle what happens to you. Your attitude determines your latitude(whether you are up or down). Just get it together. Okay? I would much rather you were happy. It is a better life.
now here’s the thing.
there is a time and place for labels and pontificating. but this comment seemed, out-of-place as it was dissecting the emotional reaction of women on a blog post about sexual assault. a very charged, heated and emotional topic for many – this comment seemed to try to strip it down and lump it in with women telling stories of being cheated on or heartbroken.
i’m all for positive thinking, am an avid reader of The Daily Love – but this comment reeked of holier-than-thouism, so I opted to walk away as opposed to engaging the clearly inflammatory comment.
some other ladies followed suit. nothing was said one way or another about the above comment. just people making the decision to express that they will not comment.
then came this monologue. and the not-so-subtle shots fired.
and since another person’s blog is not the time or place to get into a pissing match with someone, and neither is twitter due to the 140 character limit, i am choosing to YOLO-@em or dap em, here in my own space, free of limits and moderation.
Are y’all saying y’all don’t think the emotional responses aren’t indicative of bitter black woman syndrome? That mess ain’t kosher. It is unresolved emotional conflict. No matter how it is sliced, that baggage will be around until it is unpacked and recycled for good.
Man, I don’t need to tell y’all nothing because y’all ain’t going to hear me no way.
But I ain’t been divorced. I ain’t been scarred by women cheating on me. I ain’t got exes hanging around. No stds…ever. No emotional baggage. I ain’t going to spend my time making somebody else sad. Some of y’all have talked with me in real life. We had issues. You blamed me. I parted ways. It is my experience that the women that frequent this website think it is okay to ask for more than they are willing to give. All I ever asked for was enjoyable conversation. I couldn’t get that from y’all. I say all of that to say: for the women I’ve talked to and the ones I avoid, believe what you want. Swear up and down that you don’t have any issues to deal with. However, you don’t get this upset about SOMEBODY else’s opinion unless you’ve got unresolved issues.
I honestly couldn’t give a sh*t less about what y’all think about me. Y’all ain’t feeding me. Y’all ain’t supporting me. And you ain’t even really pleasant half the time. Now, if I enjoy you…I really do. but the others…think what the f*ck you want.
The Champ is an OPINION BLOGGER. if you have that much of an issue with the other 150 ish other posts he’ll make because of these two posts he gave….then again….go deal with your issues. Make time. A sincere and honest appeal for you to accept yourself and that fact that you have a future but no past. Once you realize that, you should be happier. If you cannot be then you’ll not understand the most precious thing about life is time. And truly, the time you could possibly live. Stop wasting your moments being so effing bitter.
so Sage Jr, here is my reply to you.
first off, hi, happy new year. hope all is good.
the new year is a way for people to wipe the slate clean, and move on from things. one of the topics/meme’s i had hoped we had left behind is the ‘bitter black woman’. but clearly, it’s a shirt you seem to enjoy rocking and haven’t given it to goodwill yet.
you mentioned you read some “open wound bruised, battered & sore bitter black woman rants”. now as a person who writes himself, i know you know the power of words. so when using the word rant to describe emotional comments by women – you are inherently saying you are biased against their words, and automatically discount them as noise and invalid.
there are many cases where the words are indeed coming from bruised, battered and embittered women. if you could live the life of one for a day, you wouldn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what we have to deal with. and on this particular topic – when a woman has had her own body used against her, to make light of the wound that was indeed opened with the discussion that took place, shows the type of person you are.
“Hotline numbers. Geez…Acceptance, forgiveness & positivity will get you through most anything”. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the sanctity of your home and body violated, but it takes a very strong-willed person, with a wonderful support system and faith to get through each day. the best part about your comment is that, yes, there are hotline numbers for those who feel alone, ashamed and confused by the feelings that can resurface and be triggered by the simplest of things. i’ve spent many nights, talking to those women and always felt good about them knowing that i was there, judgement-free.
channelling your inner Tony Robbins was interesting. i mean, the words you typed, how could anyone have been so silly to have been living any other way? what a breakthrough! it’s as easy as 1-2-3 right? If Sagey says it, then it must mean that you should and can do it too! (this is sarcasm).
and then you came back to further challenge people walking away from your previous statements. i used to be like you, a sad panda when no one had anything to say about my witty and insightful comments. but where you and i differ – is that i don’t perceive walking away from what is sure to be a conversation that will go nowhere as weakness. you know that cliche about fighting a pig in the mud because from far, no one can tell which is which? yeah. this applies here. there was going to be no winning, because either i am the bitter black woman by sheer default of rebuking your comments or it’s just cast aside as an emotional rant. im the one walking away shaking my head in disgust (in myself for even going there), so it was a lose-lose proposition.
but let me answer your question: no, the emotional responses of women who have been victimized by a heinous crime is not indicative of the bitter black woman syndrome. black women may be the majority of women commenters on the blog you and i frequent, but this conversation would have been the same anywhere. i won’t sit here and automatically defend the words of every woman you seem to be judging, but i will say that there comes a time in every person’s life when they get tired of being considered less than. and for some, the only way to try and be heard is through crying their emotions out through the keyboards. it’s not always effective, but it’s only way some know how to do.
i presume by touting that you’ve never been hurt, cheated on, given an STD that there is a point. i’d tell you im still waiting for you to reach it, but i would be lying. (oh and since you and i frequent the same blog, we both know bitter isn’t just applicable to some of the female readers. or maybe the vss’ are better at using their words than the vsb’s that are labelling us. hmm).
“Some of y’all have talked with me in real life. We had issues. You blamed me. I parted ways.” well let’s see. if that was a summary of our twitter friendship, you pretty much summed it up. except for you’ve placed WAY more importance on yourself that i ever did. as my memory serves, we were having a simple conversation. which turned into a simple disagreement. cool. like i said above, i’m not one to engage in every fight. i am not that person in real life, nor in e-life. you took me ending the conversation and went ALL THE WAY LEFT. that made no sense to me, and since i cannot control anyone’s actions but my own, i decided instead of subtweeting about it, to just remove myself from the equation all together. no blame, no muss, no fuss. a simple unfollow sufficed. i bet you didn’t even miss me!
“It is my experience that the women that frequent this website think it is okay to ask for more than they are willing to give.” i find it interesting that you are allowed to make broad generalizations, but the emotional comment of the fairer sex is deemed a rant. you are supposed to hold your opinion in high regard. that doesn’t mean that i have to. and if you gave me something to respect, i would. but the rhetoric you spew is shrug-worthy at best.
“All I ever asked for was enjoyable conversation. I couldn’t get that from y’all.” i’m sorry. i guess this is a you get what you give kind of world. i wonder if this is something you feel you are entitled to because you can type well and string an argument together. methinks you have a little DD in ya showing. you might want to tuck that away before you are really found out.
“I say all of that to say: for the women I’ve talked to and the ones I avoid, believe what you want. Swear up and down that you don’t have any issues to deal with. However, you don’t get this upset about SOMEBODY else’s opinion unless you’ve got unresolved issues.” but if you are avoiding certain people, why should those same people take anything you have to say seriously or into account? i’m genuinely confused. you are the one making a very far-reaching argument with no foundation or logic. everyone has issues. some even put them out there in this post. it’s become very clear, that emotions to you are something you think you can distance yourself from, and that this makes you better than people and others should follow your lead.
you are also right when you declare Champ has an opinion blogger. one who was able to honestly give an assessment of the type of person and writer he is. if i had used those words to describe him, i would have been shot many side-eyes and labelled a bitter black woman with issues. but let me be pretty clear, in this particular forum where you decided to drop your comments, you are just a commenter like me. no more, no less. you leave a comment on someone else’s post, and once it’s out there, in black and white to be consumed, ridiculed, applauded and many other things in between. you are entitled to your opinion – even if it’s wrong and makes no logical sense to the topic at hand. and i am entitled to say so. you dont have to like it or respect it.
i get that Champ coming out and saying what he wants to say, in the way he wants to say them without making apologies for it, might make him a role model of sorts in your eyes. and you tried to get a little piece of the pie and a little bit of that shine in the comment section. your comments were clear as day full of trigger words that would allow you to show how enlightened and eloquent you are, while shushing the angry black bitter chick and boosting your twitter count.
i’m sorry to say that it failed.
but hey, keep trying. even obsidian had his moments.
a wise person once RT’d: Your opinion of me is none of my business; whatever your opinion is of me, keep it to yourself. i find this ironic at best.
good day sir. im out.
kbe.
what say you? should i have left it alone? am i wrong for using my own space to defend myself? ever get have e-beef with someone?
the rebuttal: my response to fired e-shots
dikembe. this dude knew something about blocking shots
the great thing about having a blog, is being able to say pretty much what i want, when and how i want.
i’m the 1st to admit that i can be defensive at times. but it’s rarely completely unjustified.
the other day on a blog, a comment was made by a reader.
now here’s the thing.
there is a time and place for labels and pontificating. but this comment seemed, out-of-place as it was dissecting the emotional reaction of women on a blog post about sexual assault. a very charged, heated and emotional topic for many – this comment seemed to try to strip it down and lump it in with women telling stories of being cheated on or heartbroken.
i’m all for positive thinking, am an avid reader of The Daily Love – but this comment reeked of holier-than-thouism, so I opted to walk away as opposed to engaging the clearly inflammatory comment.
some other ladies followed suit. nothing was said one way or another about the above comment. just people making the decision to express that they will not comment.
then came this monologue. and the not-so-subtle shots fired.
and since another person’s blog is not the time or place to get into a pissing match with someone, and neither is twitter due to the 140 character limit, i am choosing to YOLO-@em or dap em, here in my own space, free of limits and moderation.
so Sage Jr, here is my reply to you.
first off, hi, happy new year. hope all is good.
the new year is a way for people to wipe the slate clean, and move on from things. one of the topics/meme’s i had hoped we had left behind is the ‘bitter black woman’. but clearly, it’s a shirt you seem to enjoy rocking and haven’t given it to goodwill yet.
you mentioned you read some “open wound bruised, battered & sore bitter black woman rants”. now as a person who writes himself, i know you know the power of words. so when using the word rant to describe emotional comments by women – you are inherently saying you are biased against their words, and automatically discount them as noise and invalid.
there are many cases where the words are indeed coming from bruised, battered and embittered women. if you could live the life of one for a day, you wouldn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what we have to deal with. and on this particular topic – when a woman has had her own body used against her, to make light of the wound that was indeed opened with the discussion that took place, shows the type of person you are.
“Hotline numbers. Geez…Acceptance, forgiveness & positivity will get you through most anything”. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the sanctity of your home and body violated, but it takes a very strong-willed person, with a wonderful support system and faith to get through each day. the best part about your comment is that, yes, there are hotline numbers for those who feel alone, ashamed and confused by the feelings that can resurface and be triggered by the simplest of things. i’ve spent many nights, talking to those women and always felt good about them knowing that i was there, judgement-free.
channelling your inner Tony Robbins was interesting. i mean, the words you typed, how could anyone have been so silly to have been living any other way? what a breakthrough! it’s as easy as 1-2-3 right? If Sagey says it, then it must mean that you should and can do it too! (this is sarcasm).
and then you came back to further challenge people walking away from your previous statements. i used to be like you, a sad panda when no one had anything to say about my witty and insightful comments. but where you and i differ – is that i don’t perceive walking away from what is sure to be a conversation that will go nowhere as weakness. you know that cliche about fighting a pig in the mud because from far, no one can tell which is which? yeah. this applies here. there was going to be no winning, because either i am the bitter black woman by sheer default of rebuking your comments or it’s just cast aside as an emotional rant. im the one walking away shaking my head in disgust (in myself for even going there), so it was a lose-lose proposition.
but let me answer your question: no, the emotional responses of women who have been victimized by a heinous crime is not indicative of the bitter black woman syndrome. black women may be the majority of women commenters on the blog you and i frequent, but this conversation would have been the same anywhere. i won’t sit here and automatically defend the words of every woman you seem to be judging, but i will say that there comes a time in every person’s life when they get tired of being considered less than. and for some, the only way to try and be heard is through crying their emotions out through the keyboards. it’s not always effective, but it’s only way some know how to do.
i presume by touting that you’ve never been hurt, cheated on, given an STD that there is a point. i’d tell you im still waiting for you to reach it, but i would be lying. (oh and since you and i frequent the same blog, we both know bitter isn’t just applicable to some of the female readers. or maybe the vss’ are better at using their words than the vsb’s that are labelling us. hmm).
“Some of y’all have talked with me in real life. We had issues. You blamed me. I parted ways.” well let’s see. if that was a summary of our twitter friendship, you pretty much summed it up. except for you’ve placed WAY more importance on yourself that i ever did. as my memory serves, we were having a simple conversation. which turned into a simple disagreement. cool. like i said above, i’m not one to engage in every fight. i am not that person in real life, nor in e-life. you took me ending the conversation and went ALL THE WAY LEFT. that made no sense to me, and since i cannot control anyone’s actions but my own, i decided instead of subtweeting about it, to just remove myself from the equation all together. no blame, no muss, no fuss. a simple unfollow sufficed. i bet you didn’t even miss me!
“It is my experience that the women that frequent this website think it is okay to ask for more than they are willing to give.” i find it interesting that you are allowed to make broad generalizations, but the emotional comment of the fairer sex is deemed a rant. you are supposed to hold your opinion in high regard. that doesn’t mean that i have to. and if you gave me something to respect, i would. but the rhetoric you spew is shrug-worthy at best.
“All I ever asked for was enjoyable conversation. I couldn’t get that from y’all.” i’m sorry. i guess this is a you get what you give kind of world. i wonder if this is something you feel you are entitled to because you can type well and string an argument together. methinks you have a little DD in ya showing. you might want to tuck that away before you are really found out.
“I say all of that to say: for the women I’ve talked to and the ones I avoid, believe what you want. Swear up and down that you don’t have any issues to deal with. However, you don’t get this upset about SOMEBODY else’s opinion unless you’ve got unresolved issues.” but if you are avoiding certain people, why should those same people take anything you have to say seriously or into account? i’m genuinely confused. you are the one making a very far-reaching argument with no foundation or logic. everyone has issues. some even put them out there in this post. it’s become very clear, that emotions to you are something you think you can distance yourself from, and that this makes you better than people and others should follow your lead.
you are also right when you declare Champ has an opinion blogger. one who was able to honestly give an assessment of the type of person and writer he is. if i had used those words to describe him, i would have been shot many side-eyes and labelled a bitter black woman with issues. but let me be pretty clear, in this particular forum where you decided to drop your comments, you are just a commenter like me. no more, no less. you leave a comment on someone else’s post, and once it’s out there, in black and white to be consumed, ridiculed, applauded and many other things in between. you are entitled to your opinion – even if it’s wrong and makes no logical sense to the topic at hand. and i am entitled to say so. you dont have to like it or respect it.
i get that Champ coming out and saying what he wants to say, in the way he wants to say them without making apologies for it, might make him a role model of sorts in your eyes. and you tried to get a little piece of the pie and a little bit of that shine in the comment section. your comments were clear as day full of trigger words that would allow you to show how enlightened and eloquent you are, while shushing the angry black bitter chick and boosting your twitter count.
i’m sorry to say that it failed.
but hey, keep trying. even obsidian had his moments.
a wise person once RT’d: Your opinion of me is none of my business; whatever your opinion is of me, keep it to yourself. i find this ironic at best.
good day sir. im out.
kbe.
what say you? should i have left it alone? am i wrong for using my own space to defend myself? ever get have e-beef with someone?