QOTW: what brings out the worst in people?

i like her dress.

this, like many of the questions posted on the site is a good one.

my first reaction to this question was: twitter. (anyone that is active on it, knows the good, bad and ugly of it). sometimes having the ability to say whatever you want is NOT a good thing.

but in digging deeper, and in thinking about my personal life the answer is quite simply life. and the circle of it. word to sir elton.

nothing brings out the best and worst in people than life or death situations in equal proportions.

maybe it’s the human flight or fight instinct – but there are those who rise to the occasion of doing for their fellow-man, and there are others who run and or use it as an opportunity to gain for themselves.

for all the opportunists that do utterly inhumane things like this, there are oh so many more that do great things. not for the fame or fortune – but because it’s just good karma.

kbe.

what do y’all think?

 

QOTW: your life now vs five years ago

i’ve been having conversations with two close friends of mine, about how drastically different life can be, just a mere 365 days later.

so this question, is slightly hard to answer – but will give it a try!

financially – less debt, more savings, more options for the future

emotionally – more aware of who i am

friendships – are stronger, and those that weren’t good for me, ended as they needed to.

romantically – i..um..yeah. O_o

family – have good relationships with most of my siblings

career – have moved up, gained enough skills and confidence to open my side business

overall – my life is better because i am alive and blessed to have come through hard times with my health, heart and hope intact.

kbe.

what say you? if five years is too hard – how is your life better from just one year ago?

QOTW: what do you hope for?

you are asking a person who titled their blog fourpageletter, and regularly goes over the ‘blogger rule’ of under 1,000 word posts for a one word answer???

what kind of matrix am i living in????

this was a hard one. i’m hoping for a few things, but i’ll go with peace.

peace of mind, body and spirit.

this im sure comes with having faith that all will turn out the way you want it to, but with an overactive brain and imagination (and the patience level of a hungry infant) – settling into that frame of mind is sometimes very hard.

i want to be at peace with myself (physically and emotionally). peace with the past, present and future.

(a very very close runner-up was love by the way).

kbe.

what say you? 1 word (and a brief explanation why).

ps: this picture is kind of random though.

QOTW: what rule do you live by?

there are many rules i try to live by:

• always have clean underwear on
• remember you were once young and one day you will be old
• cheese, chocolate and butter make all foods better

but the main one is simply is more of a question, than a rule:

what would mom say?

you see, i’m from the era when you were raised to have a healthy fear and respect of your parents. my mom always preached to have common sense. to always be aware of your surroundings. that who ever don’t hear, must feel. (shout out to my Jamaicans!! brap brap!!).

and as i’ve gotten older, i’ve grown to appreciate the common sense she tried to instill in me, as it is not so common these days.

i’ve tried to conduct myself as a lady/adult, try to limit the amount of times i cuss (growing up shut up was a swear word!!), and make sure that anything i do, write, say – if should end up on CP24, she wouldn’t be angry, sad, embarrassed or worse – disappointed.

i always strive to be a child that she can be proud of, and hope that when my time comes to become a mom – i can pass down the wisdom.

kbe.

what say you? what is your simple rule/mantra/mission statement you live by?

 

QOTW: Thought Questions

hey y’all

(not to be confused with this.…)

with all the negativity floating around in the air (and i feel i added to it), i figured i’d try something new.

i was referred to this website, by the lovely Muze and think it’s great in its simplicity.

a simple question, giving you some food for thought.

and what better way to lead into the weekend, then with some questions that make you go hmmm…

what do i wish i did on a more regular basis?

do i give the ratchet answer or the deep and thoughtful one? LOL.

seriously, i wish. i had. more time. (word to man on fire).

while that’s not really answering the question, it kinda is.

i wish i managed my time better – time for self, time for building my business, time for my friends, time for my family. doing that would allow me to do the things i wish i did on a more regular basis.

cheating? perhaps.

but it’s my answer and im sticking to it.

kbe.

what say you? let me know your thoughts on if this should be a weekly thing, moved to mondays instead and of course.. answer the question!

the action plan: week 1 of 31 day reset

last year (lol), i mentioned a project called the 31 day reset. it’s a personal life assessment challenge, with daily tasks that force you to sit, examine every area of your life in detail.

it probably sounds like hocus-pocus, but it can really be an eye-opening experience. and the new year is about starting fresh and anew – and hopefully not repeating the same mistakes of yore. what do you have to lose?

since it’s a daily project and don’t have the time to blog about the challenges everyday, here is my weekly recap of week 1.

day 1: start here. day 1 is simple: choose a notebook, choose a mantra that will motivate and inspire you for the next 31 days (or 12 months) and choose a theme song.

i have what you may call a shoe notebook fetish. i love cracking open a new book and writing down lists, goals, thoughts, dreams, budgets and other random things. i have a specific book i use for these kinds of things (and that i used for the last reset). my mantra for the year is: life is what you make it (so make it a great one). it’s a take on a reggae tune, and it came to me as struggled to come up with one. the inspiration finally hit me after a long conversation with my mom. some people take roadblocks and make themselves victims. others take lemons and make delicious lemon bars. life IS what YOU make it. my theme song is i will get there by boyz II men. it’s amazing track off the soundtrack to the Prince of Egypt movie, and i’ve loved it for years. i think it will make an excellent future music moves me post.

day 2: honest assessment of your life. this can be either great depending on the direction your life is heading in or not so great if you’ve spent time hiding from things. i’m overall pleased with the direction my life is going. perhaps a little slower than i’d like, but all that tells me is that i need to slow my roll and enjoy life as it unravels before me. this assessment makes you think about the good and the bad in 7 key areas of your life. some of the things i liked/am happy with were pretty clear (my friends, my career, overcoming major financial hurdles). the things i dislike/am unhappy with were more glaring and it’s clear what my focus in 2012 will need to be. there were even a few surprises about how i felt about myself. this wouldn’t be the last surprise of the week.

day 3: write a love letter to your future self. this wasn’t “self, i love you – let me count the ways” kind of letter. it was a letter to get you to focus on the positive and the things you LOVE about your life! yes, even in the physical health or finances department. it’s so easy to speak about and dwell on the craptastic parts, but how often do you extol the virtues of your job (if you follow me on twitter, you know i do on a regular) or other major areas of your life? the best part of this challenge was that you then had to compose it and send it to yourself via a website called: futureme.org. so brilliant! it’s like creating an electronic time capsule. i saw some of the sample letters and they were truly beautiful. while the challenge called to send it to yourself in 30 days, i did mine for a few months from now – so that i can really see if the reset project had a lasting effect on me. will i still love those things about me and my life 4 months from now? we shall see..

day 4: identify your values. this is where it gets real. despite the fact that i’ve done this before – this one gets me stuck. and i admit, i turned to the internet for help. usually i get caught up in trying to figure out what exactly is a value? i value communication. it’s one of the most important things in my life and i believe the most important thing in all relationships – but is that really a value? me no know. the last time i did this project i chose the following:

• Family
• Love
• Passion
• Integrity
• Community
• Legacy
• Stability
• Fulfillment
• Growth
• Balance

this time (and without looking i promise), i chose the following:

• Stability & Security
• Growth
• Independence
• Integrity
• Responsibility & Accountability
• Hope
• Love
• Passion
• Preparation
• Strength

it’s interesting to see these side-by-side for comparison. i love my family, but do i value it? the definition of family is more than just who you are related to by blood or marriage. i value independence, but is that getting in the way of me having love in my life? this reset project can be like opening pandora’s box to your hidden fears.

day 5: envision your values in action. this is one of the longer challenges and for me is the toughest. once i’ve decided on what i believe them to be, when i struggle to put actions to them, i second guess if they are that important to me after all. day 5 asks you if you are currently living out your values, to rate how you are living them on a scale of 1-10 (im always brutally honest with myself) and then list 3 actions PER value that you currently take or should be taking.

i told you it was serious.

day 6: write a personal mission statement. always about tying things together, this is pretty much creating a constitution for your life based on your selected values. but unlike old archaic documents, a personal mission statement is meant to change over time as you do. mine looks like this:

i value integrity, growth and responsibility. being grounded in my decisions, standing firm in what i believe in and what my soul agrees with is important to me. it is fundamental to who i am as a person, daughter, sister, friend, employee and entrepreneur.

my life would not be the same without the freedom to be, go and dream. it is full because of the people who support my goals and aspirations. as i journey through life, i will remember that independence doesn’t equal doing everything alone. life is not built that way and neither am i.

being prepared and adaptable makes me a better planner and a better person.

work on loving myself as i do others will be a life-long journey.

strength will take many forms and come from many places including life and those around me, a higher being and within.

my values at their highest level will equal being content and satisfied in all aspects of living. they will help me build a legacy that i will be proud of. i recognize that i am blessed, so that i may pass my blessings onto others.

i vow to always remain full of hope, passion and love. keeping my heart and mind open will mean the possibilities and opportunities are endless!

day 7: create a life map. who doesn’t need/like/want a brightly coloured visual summary of your goals? that’s exactly what the life map is. mine from 2011 is on my fridge and will be replaced with the 2012 version. might have to put one on my office as well.

day 8: rest, reflect and comment. the most important thing i learned this week, is that i need to work on me. and not in the ‘imma do me’ kind of way, but truly need to look at why certain thoughts dictate certain actions in my life. i loved creating the love letter and the entire idea behind futureme. i know i’ll probably use it in the future. (i might send it my action plan and set it for dec 31, 2012 if we’re still alive after the Mayan/rapture thing).

i expect week 2 to be even better and tougher than week 1. im ready, bring it on Rosetta!

kbe.

what say you? have you heard of this project? are you doing it? would you do it? what has been your best day so far? what has been your least fave day?

prepping for a new year: resolving the resolution thing

exactly.

one of my favorite quotes is: i don’t make resolutions, i make plans.

BAM!

i like that quote for two reasons:

1. im a planner by nature and trade, so it speaks to me on several levels
2. the word resolutions is overplayed, overused and pretty much now defined as a goal that is set at the beginning of the year that will be discarded by february march.

but seeing as though it is that time of year, i have accumulated some interesting tips and notes to get my ‘resolutions’ accomplished.

Scott Berkun of WordPress had some helpful tips on resolutions that i had already planned on applying including:

• Find a friend who can sign up to the same goal. We are social creatures, and our goals should be social.
• Write down the resolution and sign it. Writing has power.

i’ve already found a friend who will have my entire action plan (doesn’t that sound better than resolutions?? think of when Homer changed his name to Max Power!). it won’t be a to-do list, it will be a to-accomplish list. changing how you feel going into a project, i believe dictates how (and if) you finish.

i am a person who needs to be held accountable and needs a deadline. if it’s open-ended, it will keep getting rolled over and then you wake up and it’s 3 years later and you’re still trying to cross it off a list.

part of my new year transition is to take part in Happy Black Woman‘s 31 days to Reset Your Life Challenge. it’s a daily test to changing how you think and live. i did it earlier in 2011 and it was amazing. some of the challenges really stuck with and spoke to me. now that i have an actual blog, i’ll likely be tracking my progress here. the challenges are daily (which can be part of the challenge in of itself), but is worth it! (and you definitely don’t have to be happy, black or a woman to do it!!).

life can be so daunting, with so many facets of it that you are trying to make improvements in. breaking it into different categories, will allow you to tackle things piece by piece. From Happy Black Woman’s Life Assessment:

• Lifestyle (satisfaction with where you live/living environment, how you spend your leisure time these days)
• Work (satisfaction with where you work right now, what you do to earn your living)
• Education (satisfaction with your educational attainment to date – college, vocational school and other learning goals)
• Finances (the current state of your budget/money management, salary, net worth, debt-to-income ratio)
• Health (the current state of your mental, physical and spiritual health – mind, body, soul)
• Family (the quality of your relationships with family members, siblings, children)
• Relationships (the quality of your relationships with friends and romantic partners)

there are other components to your life that you may want to include, it’s your list – so make sure it reflects you and what you want to accomplish for yourself. that may seem self-explanatory, but all too often, we get caught up in trying to set goals that we feel our parents, partners or society says we should. do you want to buy a home or are you working your booty off because “that’s what real grown ups do”? make sure your life assessment is an honest one.

i hope some of these things will help you in creating your own action list (think of yourself as an action hero!!!) for the upcoming new year. there will be obstacles and speed bumps along the way, but nothing worth doing is done alone and very few things are done right on the first try.

i’ve created a new category to house these kinds of blog posts (the action plan), so if you ever want to go back and check em out, you know where to find them! look for a breakdown of some of mine in my first post for 2012.

onwards and upwards for a great year.

what say you? do you make resolutions? do you stick to them? anything you plan on accomplishing in the new year?

kbe.